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LG,

I get a serious pain in my chest several hours after T. But then struggle with missing him all week. So I just wanted to vote for all three but couldn't. It's the worst about an hour or so after I see him.

Although this week, I think I've finaly given up fighting my attachment for him and I feel a strange peace and strength in the relationship that I haven't felt before. It's a really nice feeling and it's carried me through a whole week. I haven't been able to go a whole week without seeing him since October.
I actually found that when my T was on vacation, as long as I did not allow myself to contact him at all, the missing him went away. But that was before the attachment got quite so strong, a good two months ago at this point. I wonder if I could actually survive him being on vacation without hearing from him at this point. Frowner
quote:
Originally posted by Morgs:
though the next day is usually very hard then i'm on countdown!


Same here. Although the countdown starts the minute I walk out of the door after an appointment. Also, sometimes during a session where I can't open up and hence don't feel a connection, I miss her more than ever. On those occasions the countdown starts during the session... I am so pathetic.
quote:
I'm extremely independent and have difficulty trusting anyone.


SG,

I fit into this description quite well for a really long time and sometimes still do. My T struggled for months and months to get past my "I can do it myself and I don't need anyone" routine. I'd venture to guess that many of us that are attached came from that camp to begin with. Wink

Oh and my T has children my age. Sometimes that is hard because I imagine what it would be like to have a mom like her.
Yeah, I did kind of have a hard time knowing T's oldest is only a few years younger than me...but (I'm not sure) I don't think he has any daughters, so that made it a bit easier. Big Grin

I am extremely independent as well, except I will choose a couple reliable people and go completely the other direction (like H in the past). So, once I got over my, "I don't even need to be in therapy," feeling and started trusting T, he jumped the fence into the other group. Poor guy!
quote:
Oh and my T has children my age. Sometimes that is hard because I imagine what it would be like to have a mom like her.


I actually found something on *this* forum, in a post way back (likely a few years back) when I was browsing that really helped me deal with this concept better. My T is not old enough to be my mom (which is really helpful for me!) but my boss is. It's the nature of my job to work closely with my boss at times, and I've grown very attached to her. She has two daughters my age and I used to wish with all my heart that she was my mom.

Recently, though, thanks to this forum, I realized that if she *was* my mom, then our relationship would be completely different. She wouldn't be able to help me the way she is able to, as she'd have a different emotional connection and wouldn't be able to be as objectively supportive, if that makes sense? I will see if I can find the thread where I read it. It was so profound for me, and has been a huge help in getting over seeing my attachment figures as my mom, and instead seeing them as the wonderfully, supportive, caring people they are.
So, so, SO agreed with wanting "to cancel the next appointment so I never have to miss her again. ugh." Ugh, indeed! I am like that too, but usually it really kicks in after a couple of days. The first little bit after a session, I generally feel more connected with my humanity and with my feelings. After a couple of days, though, I'm like, "Okay, I want to see my T again, but I can't, so I just want to be over with this already!" But I'm never really over it. So, I start to really miss my T but also try to cover it up a lot.

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