So today, I am feeling very much like my Old T did the very best that he could for me, and that he cared and *was* the kind and good T that I knew him to be. But that there was just something that wasn't connecting...or..and that the way he handled my terming him, was probably in my best interests.
I was hoping it wouldn't be too presumptuous of me to ask for some input on what my next step should be, since I'm really kind of at a loss as to how to move on from him, but keep playing and replaying it, different scenarios of what he meant, why he ignored me at the last, etc. I can't seem to find closure. I just read something really enlightening by UV about "separation and individuation," and was thinking that maybe this is what old T did with me, and that it just hurt like hell, but I had to go through it. Now that I have officially termed my T, I would like to find some closure and be able to hold onto him as a positive image in my life, but...that he has ignored my last emails to him, both the one just before I took an extended break, bringing the idea up and my issues with his inconsistent availability and varying responses to me- (which he promised to answer) and the one I sent recently to officially term with him, is making this impossible. He even went so far as to send the last bill to my H instead of me, something that he had never done before since I was his client and my H only came for two or three sessions.