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Re: i'm back!

thedude ·
Thanks for the warm welcome back! It's nice to be missed Robin
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Re: So lost

butterflywarrior ·
Hello i'm glad that you have taken the chance to reach out for help like this! I wish i could read all of your post and take it all in but unable.. i will briefly leave just what crossed my mind when I read it.. My first thoughts are soinds like you have a ton of depression going on and the negative voice in the head slamming you with all that negative self talk that comes from all those nasty things that happen in the past that seem to stick with us (core beliefs). Your boyfriend is being...
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Re: So lost

holz ·
Hi SD ~ Welcome , A year ago I was where you are . Same sort of symptoms; Difficulties at work (work was actually the catalyst), relationship issues to the point of a seperation being suggested by my partner, I was extremely moody, had anxiety attacks, and severe depressive behaviors (crying, confused, sleeping, self loathing). It took me a couple of months before I woke up one mornign and said what you have "I want to be ME again", so I went to the dr. She did some bloodwork/tests to rule...
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Re: Where's Mom when I need her?

catgirl ·
Today is my daughter's "moving on" ceremony. It's like a graduation. She has been in the 1-3 grade class for the past few years, and next year, she'll move into the 4-6 grade class. So they have a little ceremony to celebrate this. Last night, when she was going to sleep, I heard her crying, so I went up to check on her. She was sobbing. She said, "I thought, 'Nannie will be so excited about my graduation! I wish she could come see it! I can't wait to call her and tell her about it.' Then, I...
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Re: Where's Mom when I need her?

holz ·
HI CG That's so sweet that they have such a ceremony Sometimes we get caught up in our own grief during milestones that are important to us, and forget about the children, and the milestones they encounter where the loss of a loved one affects them. I'm glad that you were home to be able to comfort your daughter when she needed you. Your mom's spirit will be with you both at the milestones that come your way, so in essence she is sharing them with you, in your heart and your memories I know,...
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Re: back for a short while

Jo (Guest) ·
Hi Songbird! You deserve good things. This I know. What projects are you working on?
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Re: back for a short while

songbird ·
Hi HB, Jo, thanks so much for saying hello too, it's so lovely having people respond and means a lot to me! Jo, I'm doing a lot of arts and creative education projects. All of which seem to bunch up at the moment. But I've booked myself into a couple of retreats this summer not to lose sight of the important things in life SB
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Re: New Here : )

intense ·
Hi BlahBlahBlah, Welcome! Just the fact that you posted is a huge step towards your healing! Yes, we all have awful scary days. In my case more than i'd like. Dark thoughts, uncomfortable feelings and it's definitely not easy learning to cope with this. The fact that you're 18 and already aknowledged what's going on will help you find yourself in a better place so much sooner than most people! There is something you mentioned but didn't really go deeper in: your eating disorder. I can relate...
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Re: New Here : )

z ·
Welcome to the forums, I hope you do keep posting! It sounds like you are in a tough place, I'm glad to hear you are seeking out help. I wouldn't describe transference as a problem. It can be tough and confusing, but it's also a way to understand yourself better and learn to develop a healthy relationship. Sometimes, I think that when we engage with a therapist, they are just biding their time until you "develop transference issues" so you can get started on the real work As so many people...
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Re: New Here : )

chronicallytransferred ·
Hi BlahBlahBlah! I'm glad you posted (and I really like your name)! I hope you can stick around awhile if you like it here. You know what's funny about your above statement??? I could have written the SAME thing and it would be very, very true for me; especially at your age (I'm just about 4 years older than you). I know how very hard it can be to live with someone like your mother... almost toxic in my experience. It's almost like living in another world i think... any plans to move out now...
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Re: New Here : )

chronicallytransferred ·
How are you doing BlahBlahBlah? I hope you have been having some better days. -CT
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Re: New Here : )

blahblahblah ·
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Re: New Here : )

z ·
It used to be that I was sure that any feelings I thought I had were "wrong" in the sense that I couldn't know what they were, so if I told anyone, they would correct me. In this way, I had a terrible time talking about my feelings because I was so sure I'd be wrong. Not wrong as in bad, but wrong as if I told someone that the value of PI is 4. For me, it just took a lot of time, and small steps. I tell my P about something I was feeling, and he reacted positively, and so I felt encouraged...
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

catgirl ·
I was wondering that myself.
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Re: Rejected

Jo (Guest) ·
Rachel Did he give you any reason other than that HE didn't think you needed to come anymore? I wasn't there or anything but it really sounds like it is about him. And he certainly could have given you a better explanation. He could have owned up to his side of it. Have ever seen a T before seeing him? Have you tried to see anyone else? You may need some help with getting beyond this.
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Re: Rejected

rachel ·
Hi, No explanation was really given other than he thought I probably didn't need to come anymore because I'd probably gained enough - that was it! Nothing else was said. And, no I have never seen a therapist before. I'm a pretty reserved kind of person so I feel really embarrassed that I revealed so much about myself personally and emotionally, then was pretty much shown the door.
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Re: Rejected

rachel ·
Also...I really don't think I could go back to another therapist after that.
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

imok ·
I've been wondering too! I'm one of those people who read the forums here daily because I get so much out of them... but I rarely post myself. I just don't have the time but more importantly I don't feel I have the insight to contribute. I really miss Attachment Girl's posts - she always had a wonderful way with her words. I'm also missing "Just Me' and "Russ". Where are you all?? Please come back and let us know how you are all going. Cheers! I'm Ok
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Re: Rejected

Jo (Guest) ·
He sounds irresponsible. I think a good therapist would have asked you if you thought you needed to come back. They also would have spent some time on the process of terminating because for many people that is a difficult issue. I really hope that you will give another a try. Have you ever considered calling him and asking to talk to him about this? Telling him that it was a real surprise to you when he did that?
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Re: Rejected

Jo (Guest) ·
OR maybe he had no idea how much he meant to you. He may have seen your questioning about if you should still come in as your wanting to leave??? You said you are reserved. Maybe he took that as a lack of connection when in truth you were feeling very connected. I honestly think that even if you don't see him anymore that you need more closure on this. I really do encourage you to call him and ask for another apointment and then tell him how you took it when he said that to you. That you've...
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Re: Rejected

rachel ·
Well, when it happened I did contemplate going back to talk to him about it. But I felt that he seemed annoyed with me for whatever reason plus he'd said that he didn't think I really needed to go back. So, I think I would just feel like a real nuisance showing up or even calling and saying why did you say that, etc.
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Re: Rejected

rachel ·
Plus, I think if I went back I'd cry too much when I was talking to him. Also, it would be pretty embarrassing for me to tell him how much he had meant to me - it just seems too intimate. BTW - thank you very much for your suggetions
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Re: Rejected

Jo (Guest) ·
You're welcome. I have no other suggestions other than that time will probably help you get over it. Sounds like you're scared to make moves. I am thinking that it would be good for you to take a risk. Break out of the shell.
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Re: Rejected

rachel ·
Hey, thanks for that!
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Re: Trouble in Therapy

whereami ·
Hi!! I wish I had time to respond in a longer post but only have a minute. I just wanted to let u know that u r not alone. I will respond more later. Hang in there WhereAmi
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Re: Trouble in Therapy

Jo (Guest) ·
I have been trying to reply and this little responder box would not open up! Now I don't have as much time either. Definitely not alone here HB. This is a great place to get support for such challenges. I know what you mean about not being able to talk about the stuff that would actually allow you to get better. if you have been hurt in your past from abuse or what have you it only makes sense that trust would be more than difficult. Write back later. Hi whereamI!!
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Re: Rejected

catgirl ·
Rachel, I can't imagine how painful this must have been for you. I think sometimes therapists underestimate the power they have in our lives. I agree with Jo, that it sounds like it was about him, not about you, but it's probably difficult for you to see that right now, or that he might have thought that you were sending him the message that you thought you were done. IMO, he didn't handle it correctly in either case. You deserve more than this. I hope that you are able to take care of...
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Re: Trouble in Therapy

catgirl ·
It's always the first time that's the hardest. Think about learning a new skill. The first time you try to make it to the goal, it takes FOREVER. There are many trials and errors; many stops and starts. You have to be persistent. Then, you make it! You tell yourself, I can do it again. So, you try again. This time, there are still a lot of trials and errors and stops and starts, but you make it again. The next time, there are fewer trials and errors and stops and starts. Soon, you can make...
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

catgirl ·
Yeah, I was wondering where those guys went, too. Where are ya'll?
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Re: Trouble in Therapy

whereami ·
Hi, HBShadow. Don' give up! I know how hard it seems. You are not alone. I truly think my mind is going to explode with the obsessive thoughts about my T, therapy etc sometimes. Those thoughts, though, they are there because there is something that is working in therapy. It hurts, it is hard, but it sounds like you really do have a connection there. Catgirl is so right. You have started to experience that trust. You have gotten past the biggest, hardest hurdle of not trusting at all. You...
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Re: Trouble in Therapy

hbshadow ·
Wow - very wise words and good insight. I never would have thought about it like that. I will have to keep reminding myself of that. It is just so discouraging sometimes - I don't even trust her enough to take my coat off after a year and a half - I need it for protection - but in the summer it is so freakin! hot that I just melt into a puddle when I'm there. Thanks so very much for your responses.
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

Attachment Girl ·
Y'all know how to make a girl feel loved! I'm really sorry for the disappearing act, I've really felt bad about it, especially considering how consistently I have been supported and encouraged here. It was a combo of a full release at work, my oldest daughter graduating from HS (her graduation party is on Sat and we're expecting 50 people) and doing some VERY deep grieving work in therapy. I just turned incredibly inward and between trying to handle therapy and my life, there wasn't much...
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

catgirl ·
AG, Don't feel bad. No worries. Just glad you're okay. Good to see you. catgirl
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

openwindows ·
(((OW coming out of the woodwork to say...))) Hi AG! Good to hear from you!
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

Attachment Girl ·
Catgirl, You're being way TOO understanding, I'd feel better if you yelled at me just a little. (Thank you for being too understanding!) OW, Nice woodwork isn't it! Good to hear from you too!!
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

whereami ·
Hi AG. We haven't met yet, but I have read so many of your posts, that have been so helpful and supportive. Glad to see you! whereami
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Re: Rejected

incognito ·
I also second the idea of talking to him even if it is only once or seeing someone else if that seems easier. I think it is very hard to know what your T is thinking if you don't ask. Maybe he thought you weren't interested in continuing because of your reserve or the fact you asked how often you should come. When I had been seeing my T for about 3 months, we had a conversation about whether it was helping and if I should quit (I didn't want to but I thought he wanted me to) and at one point...
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Re: EMDR?

catgirl ·
Hey Jo, I've never done EMDR, but my T wants to do it with me. So far, I've said No, because it has these series of steps and I get all weird when I have to do something a certain way. I get all rebellious and don't want to do it. Plus, I think that I would just laugh when she's doing the little tick tick thing, or whatever (I don't know if you've read enough about it to know what I'm talking about.). Plus, therapy is working for me as it is. She says EMDR would speed up the process. I'm not...
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Re: EMDR?

Jo (Guest) ·
Hi Yeah I had that fear too about having to terminate sooner than I wanted to because of emdr. I know what you mean about being rebellious against structured things too. I have researched it and even did it once with my old T. It went well. But that's the thing now I see a new T and I don't konw her that well and I am skeptical etc. I didn't laugh about it really. Well yeah I guess I did laugh at first. She taps my hands which is better than some of the alternatives. I am afraid of what I...
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Re: EMDR?

Attachment Girl ·
Hi Jo, I've never had EMDR but it really wasn't that widely used when I was working through a lot of the trauma. But I've heard really good things about it. There's a website by a therapist Robin Shapiro who does a LOT of EMDR work (she's written a text book for therapists on the technique) and there's a lot of good information on her website, the link is below. Trauma and Attachment Therapy There's a lot of good info on her site but I really love her because it's on her website that I found...
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

Attachment Girl ·
Summer, That's wonderful to hear! And I totally agree except take out the "again." I finally feel like I'm myself if that makes any sense. And you're right, it's very wonderful. Hi whereamI and thanks so much for saying hi! Thanks also for your very kind words. I'm looking forward to getting to know you. AG
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

river ·
Yes it is nice to see you AG! I guess I haven't been around much either but that is more because of this latest bout of depression that just makes it hard to do anything for any length of time.
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Re: EMDR?

Shrinklady ·
Hi Attachment Girl, nice to see you again. That's neat you're talking about Robin. She's actually agreed to write an article on EMDR for MyShrink. I'll let everyone know when it's available. Maybe I can talk her into doing a webinar. That'd be cool eh. Shrinklady
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Re: Rejected

rachel ·
Thank you - your comment really helped.
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Re: EMDR?

Attachment Girl ·
Thanks Shrinklady! It's good to be back around, especially because everyone is making me feel very welcome back. That's awesome that Robin will be writing an article for the site, she's a very clear teacher and its a topic she knows really well. A webinar would be awesome! I'd say "eh" but my Canadian accent is terrible! AG
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

Attachment Girl ·
River!! It's awesome to "see" you! I've missed you. I'm really sorry that you're struggling so hard with the depression again, I know how hard it makes it to get through what's utterly necessary much less anything else. Thanks for taking the time and effort to say hi! AG
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Re: Rejected

hbshadow ·
Hi Rachel - I get extremely attached to therapists so I can completely understand your not wanting to try again with another therapist (and risk getting hurt again). Over a decade ago, I saw a therapist for 3 years. It didn't help at all but I couldn't bear losing her so I stuck around for 3 years until I forced myself to "give her up". For a decade I struggled on my own. Then when I couldn't do it anymore, my thought was I could never, ever go through therapy with anyone but that last...
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Re: EMDR?

deeplyrooted ·
I have yet to introduce myself but I want to say that I really appreciate reading the interaction on this site. Trauma therapy is an arduous and lonely process and I need the support right now more than ever. I have used EMDR with my T on a few occasions and found it amazing. I prefer she tap on my knees with my eyes closed than to follow her finger with my eyes open; the visual technique is too distracting for me. I would like to try an auditory option but have not addressed that with her...
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Re: Does anyone know where attachment girl went?

True North ·
AG ... you can add me to the list of people thrilled to see you here posting again. Your words have always helped me. Hi River...nice to see you again too. I'm sorry you are struggling now but please know we are here if you need us and we understand. As for me... I've been away on vacation and then returned home with a bad case of bronchitis and have not really felt well enough to post. I even had to postpone a therapy session and I NEVER do that. I was just coughing too much and had no...
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Re: EMDR?

catgirl ·
Welcome to the site, deeplyrooted. So, has your T used EMDR to uncover things that you might not remember? My T wants to use it to work through feelings of past events. Does your T use it for that, too? In what way do you mean that EMDR was amazing?
 
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