Thank you for posting to me!
I am not okay. I had the courage to talk to T about being "sad I couldn't be dependent on her." She said, "uh huh." The conversation continued, and I grew more upset. She basically compared me to a thirty year old child that wouldn't move out of her parent's home (I'm 41 and she knows, just using 30 for....?)....then she asked me to pick one of my children and said I'd want them to be independent, she started to list how my daughter would grow in independence from age 10 up and around age 18 I told her, "will you stop?" She said she would stop and did. But,....kept on about the thirty year old thing and did I want my daughter to move out....and that's what she wants for me. I told her, you're not my mom! She said, no I'm not, but I've played that role, of acceptance and nurturing. I told her I wanted to see her weekly. She asked what would be different and I said, one week I wouldn't see you, then I'd get to see you. Somewhere in the conversation she asked what I'd want her to say, or better yet what would I want my mom to say, and I said, I'll be there for you whenever you need me. She said, and your mom hasn't been, and I haven't been able to, although at least once a week is predictable. I said again, I want to see you every week, and she said, if we do that then you need to commit to getting involved in the community. I told her, never mind it doesn't matter!!!!! She said, it does, you matter. I was just angry then....I got no where, just simply called a child, and a child that doesn't deserve a person to be there for me!!! I hate her right now. She's no better than my mom who failed me. I'm angry, sad, pushed away, alone, afraid, confused, let down.... I'm not going back weekly, it doesn't matter anymore
