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Reply to "Update on Transference"

Hi EJ,
I can't help with your question about ET but I thought I could maybe make a comment on the other stuff.

I agree with RT that, if at all possible, you should try to return to your T and work out what it was that made you walk out and not want to return. She should be able to handle ANYTHING you say, that's her job.

I have dealt with transference time and time again in both therapy and none therapy relationships. It is only very recently that I have begun to realise, as RT said, that transference is not something you necessarily overcome or get better from. It is actually a really useful human tool. For me, transference was also about learning to accept that having needs and desires is also OK (not something to be cured of) and that it is OK to be cared for/ loved.

I have never had a therapist who was my age (always older) but I should think that, as long as she is good at her job), it shouldn't matter. I have a good friend who I have strong motherly transference issues with and she is a year younger, so if you are asking if it is odd that you can see someone your age as a mother figure, than I think no. It is more about how the person relates to you than about age or sex or anything else.

Hope something in there helps a little.
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