When I feel the pain of separation from my T I try to remember that it isn't all about missing her, it is also the release of the repressed pain from my past. I can't say that none of it is about her because she is a significant figure in my life now which I believe I would feel whether or not there was transference. But the majority of the pain I contribute to my unmet needs that have been allowed to surface. I have found that the only thing I can do is to let myself grieve for the past. Understanding this, the how and whys of transference, doesn't make it hurt less but it does remove the confusion and shame of the experience. By the way, all of this I learned from Attachment Girl, Just Me and Shrinklady (has anyone heard from her lately?). These wise women have been able to explain transference in a way I could really understand. Not that my T hasn't tried but as she is the object of the transference I have had a hard time talking to her directly about it. It has gotten easier lately and a lot of the transference I've experienced with other people has faded (what a relief that has been!) Thanks girls. Keep up the good work.