That is such an awesome accomplishment. I am in awe! I have only been controlling my eating so far, I still need to add in the exercise. But it's really encouraging to know you lost so much. I've gone down at least a size but I have a lot further to go. But I'm happy as long as the numbers are going in the right direction.
Actually I think the best part is that instead of feeling like I'm being controlled by the food, the food now serves as a good indicator of how I'm doing. When the urge to eat gets really persistant when I'm not hungry, it's like someone screaming at me, "don't you think you should pay attention to how you're feeling?"
I think, in my case, food was a symptom, not the problem. Now that I'm finally dealing directly with my emotions, I don't need the food the way I used to. And honey, I would kill to be a 14/16 as right now I'm like a 28/30. Mainly, I want make sure I'm here to see my grandkids and have the ability to chase them around.
(My kids are 15 and 17). Don't worry too much about telling your T tomorrow. You will or you won't and either way it will be ok. You really can trust yourself for the timing. But I think you'll be able to do it. And definitely let us know what happens. And one thing I can definitely tell you is that its an incredible relief once its in the open. Not that is doesn't get painful again at times, but at least you don't have to hide it anymore. And as far as the obsessiveness, we've all been there, but recognize it for what it is, an indication of how important this relationship is. In some ways, my relationship with my T is something I've been looking for my whole life (that's the secure attachment that I've always needed and is such an important part of why I'm healing) AND the fantasy I've been chasing to try and avoid the pain of what I went through as a child (the part I need to mourn). But I wouldn't have realized either if I hadn't been able to talk to my T so openly about ALL my feelings about him with boundaries firmly in place to keep me safe. I hope it goes really well for you.
AG