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Reply to "Update on Transference"

Hi Attachment Girl and River. I am new to this site and let me tell you it is a relief to read some of the things you have written on your experiences.

My therapist/body worker has told me that she feels to move our relationship into a friendship. As I understood her objective and intuition, she thinks that I can only remain a child if I continue sessions with her and she is giving me the opportunity to choose to grow up and be in an adult relationship (friendship) with her. Since she has done this, transference feelings, along with a desperate need to be with her, have arisen. I too recognise it as attachment stuff from early years and not getting my needs met. It feels like it is ripening and deepening the possibility of healing this issue within me. She reckons she is up for it, whatever comes, however, I am not so sure. My radar is saying I cant trust her. How can I trust her when we are not in therapeutic relationship?

She works outside of "psychological frameworks" and it has been great for the last few years. I dont reckon anyone else could have reached me - I was highly sceptical of such frameworks. However, at this particular point, without the frameworks,I am in chaos to communicate the immense confusion - the intense pull towards the Beauty and the Danger. It feels like some of her stuff is in there and she aint so clear on it.

OMG. How do I bring this issue up within a friendship framework? I think this is impossible and lethal. She has a friend and fellow practitioner who has followed a similar path as my T and is now studying the pyschological frameworks, who offered for me to come for a session to sort out my confusion. It is kind of tempting, however, I am wary of adding a triangle to transference issues. This other person is also her friend. Are you amazed that I haven't gone mad yet?! so am I.

I would love to hear some group wisdom and perspective at this point, as many of my friends have not experienced this. I too am thinking of further study in psychotherapy and so this live lesson will not be wasted on me. At least I learn by experience if I dont go mad in the meanwhile!
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