quote:Originally posted by Attachment Girl:
Once I calmed down, I did realize a few good things. I did consistently reach out for contact when I was triggered; I called my T, I called my sister, I posted here, I emailed a friend I knew would understand. And I didn't eat!! A minor miracle! My T pointed out that those behaviors would not always have been the case. Helped me to see that getting triggered didn't make all my progress disappear.
Good for you! This is wonderful progress. I am very happy for you. And once again I can't help but to share how much that sounds just like me (over and over and over). Especially the part where you say "Part of what got so scary was the (very irrational) belief that this was the time my T would look at me and say, that's it, that's one time too many you've freaked over nothing, you're out of here. I KNOW its not true, but it still feels so terrifying. Then I go and spend the session with him and experience that he's not going anywhere, that he's not feeling impatient with me, and helps me understand myself and its such an amazing feeling. In many ways, my T feels like the home I've looked for my whole life."
I do the exact same thing. (Were we seperated at birth?)
This must be so common for clients. It is such a comfort to know that others experience those irrational moments of panic and despair. But every time we get through it, it solidifies our secure base even more. These T’s are truly wonderful people who deserve so much more recognition than what they get. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “My own parents couldn’t even provide this for me, yet this person who was once a complete stranger agreed to embark on this most amazing and tempestuous journey with me knowing the inherent difficulties ahead of time.” I stand in awe.