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Reply to "Toxic friendships"

(((cat)))

I struggle with this too. I feel like I've made some progress from the way I was years ago, though.

My childhood definitely involved role reversal, so I was conditioned on a very deep level to be responsible for my parents well being, and abandon my needs completely. The guilt can feel very overwhelming in present day relationships to adapt to whatever another person wants.

I had a person who was very passive aggressive, intrusive and just plain rude and I felt a similar sense of obligation to stick around with them because they always talked about "having no friends". It's hard for me not to feel sorry for them and forfeit my needs.

I guess I decided that if everyone else was also having the same problems with this person, then that person was in need of making some changes to how they treat others. And I decided that I'd rather save my energy and resources for the people who actually cared about my feelings in return.

It can be really difficult to maintain a self protective stance though

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