UV I’m sorry you had to delete, for what it’s worth I think you have every right to feel angry at your mother. I do get the whole being stuck with anger thing though, I take the view that nearly all self directed anger actually belongs to someone else, though it’s hard to sort through it all to find the ‘right’ object and anyway it’s not as simple as that, there’s anger on anger on anger that arises in response to layers of experiences not necessarily involving the same person. And then there’s the recognition that mostly people didn’t intend to do the things they did in order to hurt or damage, it’s mostly incidental, that’s the hard part (hence the phrase ‘they did the best they could’ being both accurate – mostly – and a real blocking thing too…)

What you say about getting angry about being angry at yourself more or less matches my set up – I became quite outraged when I realized the extent to which I was taking the blame for EVERYTHING. But that can be a double whammy too, being angry at yourself for being angry at yourself, like double splitting… a horrible state to be in.

Hope you’re doing ok ((((( UV )))))

LL