quote:I have read that about the child being a challenge so they are more likely to be abused. I have a hard time with that because I feel it blames the child. Now I have had people tell me that it does not blame the child but it's hard for me not to see it that way.
It could be a nervous system thing. My second moved constantly in utero and that's how she is in life. My third was very sedate in utero and that's how he is in life although he cannot tolerate much stimulation and prefers things pretty sedate.
It took me a long time to learn to love my second - which is awful, I know. Her energy level is higher than mine and always has been. I love her like crazy now and can appreciate all the ways she is different than me.
My third seemed easy because he didn't demand a lot but that doesn't mean he didn't suffer. I thought he was okay when part of it was that he didn't know how to ask to get his needs met. So maybe that's what you were like as a kid.
Since I've been in therapy, I've been putting a lot more into my kids on an emotional level. Sometimes I see it as like blowing up a balloon. At some point, they will be able to stay inflated all on their own but someone has to put enough air into them first.
If your family was anything like mine, there was too much stress and my parents just had enough emotional energy to get by. There wasn't anything left over really for everyone. Yes, we all have our problems though they manifested itself in different ways. I think being the youngest can be a difficult position to be depending upon our relationships with our older siblings.
So glad you found someone who loves working with BPD. That's awesome.