Skip to main content

The PsychCafe
Share, connect, and learn.

Reply to "Poll: Does your T cry?"

T has never cried and usually when he says things like, "That makes me so mad," or "that's really sad" or "upsetting," his voice has been pretty neutral. There have been a couple of occasions where his voice has had a lot of feeling in it, either anger over stuff that happened to me or sadness.

***ABUSE TRIGGERS?***
-My mom's creepy ex, the one who physically abused my older sisters and who I have not-sure-if-they-are-memories flashbacks to icky, unclear stuff with me, used to call our home for years after they broke up (when I think I was five, turning six). Whenever I would pick up, he would pant into the phone. For some reason, I didn't get to hang up on him. I would still sometimes have conversations with him afterward, until I got screamed at for it. I can't remember witnessing him beat my sisters or any other of the horrible stuff I've heard he did, so other than his creepy panting, I didn't know I shouldn't talk to him (plus, I almost NEVER hang up on anyone). Anyway, T sounded pretty angry (for him) when I described this guy calling over and over and making sexual panting noises to a young kid on the phone. It stopped when we changed our number and went unlisted.
****End Triggers****
-When I told him that my dad and step-mom told me in a therapy session for nightmares that I couldn't live with them, because my step-mom was "done raising her kids," T was angry at my step-mom and that therapist (for some reason not my dad...maybe he thought I'd get defensive). He sounded, maybe not livid, but really irritated and baffled.
-Last session, when we talked about what he felt not up to task about and he said some of the stuff I faced was scary, he also said, "Sometimes, it's just really hard to see you hurting so much." His voice was really soft and seemed to catch in his throat a little.

If he ever did cry, he's probably not the sobbing type, so unless I learn to actually LOOK at my T, I will probably never know.

I have had a couple tears run down my face while hiding in therapy, but not outright cried or anything. That's not something I can do without someone really close by, like holding or reassuring me in some way. However, if T told me a really sad story and started crying himself about it, I would probably easily sob. It's so funny. I really wish I could actually LET the pain I'm feeling when I'm around him out. Maybe I would come out of sessions feeling better, released, instead of worse, all worked up.
×
×
×
×
×