HIC,
I went through this with my T when I started writing my blog and asked him to read it. I sent him an email and didn't hear back (didn't expect to as I had not asked for a response) and at our next session, he told me he had not read it yet. Four months went by and still he said nothing. I finally went in and told him that I was angry and hurt by him not reading it. He told me it became more important since he now knew how important it was to me. I felt the same kind of humiliation and it felt like I must not matter if he couldn't be bothered to read it for four months.

But the truth is, that we are supposed to express our needs. It's not knowing our needs that indicates care for us, it's someone responding to our expressed needs that shows they care and that we matter.

I think the better question to be asking here is why does asking for what you need lead to feelings of humiliation, embarrassment and feeling insignificant? This is a tough one to get past, I feel for you. But if I may offer some advice (which you may freely accept or ignore!) when you go tonight, talk to your therapist. Be open about how this felt and that it is still weighing on you. That you are angry and frustrated and hurt. Being honest and vulnerable is really scary but the best way to deal with shame. It also provides a chance to repair it and for you to experience that you do matter and your needs are important.

AG