Hey Liese -

Sometimes people give us stuff with strings attached (they have a covert expectation of us) but I'm not sure that's what's happening here. Your needs are yours - the strings seem to be your own, where you kinda tie yourself with the belief or expectation that you don't have those needs. Likewise, I don't think it's accepting the gift that makes you resentful, but that in accepting it you kind of give up responsibility for knowing what's important to you and looking out for it. I hope this doesn't sound harsh - I do exactly the same thing and often get into situations where I'm overwhelmed as a result. So it ends up that I am the one in the equation with covert expectations, because I'm unaware of my own needs. They are present in the interaction, everyone feels them, but I'm not looking after them. Make sense? (((Liese)))