Hi Armored, i think it is dissociation indeed. It's a clear defense mechanism. Did u start doing this in childhood? When i dissociate, mostly in therapy now because it's where i re-live past memories, my eyes get glued to ny pattern on the carpet or the ceiling, or the cushion, or even patterns on my own clothes. Then my eyes follow the pattern, i imagine im painting it, tracing it with a pencil or something alike. That's what i do and i kmow it's dissociation, so are we weird? I think it's our psyche adapting to what we perceive as a threat (because it really used to be one). And our brain gives out the order to music to start playing or for eye to follow the patterns. I think that it's quite creative actually Stray strong, you are not alone.