quote:

Originally posted by Draggers:
I am trying to get my head around why having BPD is such a bad thing and why you hate the diagnosis but are quite happy to have PTSD ELizaJ? does it matter?

I have borderline behaviours as well, yet i have the diagnosis of DTD and DID, but really couldnt care if they had labled me as BPD.honestly when you are a F'kd up as i am or i feel i am , you go past labels and worrying about having them and just get on with understanding yourself and healing.Let them have their labels and categories....cos none of it matters.its just another load of letters, with really very little meaning ,just my honest opinion .

why does the label upset me so much? because it is a source of major trauma for me - because the way i was 'treated' when i was told i had it

i was misdiagnosed 20 years ago as having BPD. that was in a time where those with it were seen as not really being unwell - it was seen as attention seeking, manipulation, lying, and desperateness to 'avoid' IMAGINED abandonment.

because every time i expressed urges to self harm, or kill myself, i was ignored - it was seen as 'attention seeking' not REAL distress; because every time i reached out for help, i was dismissed, invalidated, least it 'encourage' more 'attention seeking' behavior.

because my therapy with a T in which i had strong transference feelings for was pathologised and i was left to feel more intense shame than id even experienced at the hands of my very abusive mother. Because the therapy with that T had to be viewed by 2 other mental health professionals via a one way mirrored window, least i 'manipulate' the T and she inadvertently 'played' into my manipulative ways.

because the stigma and the so called 'treatment' of BPD by those meant to provide care for me left me severely traumatized, on top of the severe trauma i already had.

i was even denied medication for years, because BPD wasn't considered a 'real' illness that should be treated with medication - my depression after all, wasn't real - it was just me wanting attention.

that's why

it is my understanding nowadays BPD isn't seen in the same light - that distress felt by those with it is 'real' but it sure as shit was not how it was seen all those years ago.

being misdiagnosed meant i never received the support or treatment for what was really going on - PTSD. no one should have been treated the way i (and everyone else with so called BPD) was back then. and no one should be treated that way now. but to have PTSD, to be experiencing flashbacks and suicidal feelings and be told tint real, it was just attention seeking behavior, is incredibly damaging beyond words.

yes, the 'label' is important - because if it is th WRONG ONE then you don't get the treatment you need for the condition you have. the whole purpose of the drs labels is so they have a treatment plan / protocol / guide as to what works with clients with the sam condition.

and it distresses me beyond belief to have those 3 letters discussed in even a remote relationship to me and what I'm experiencing because it only triggers the trauma created by the health professionals all those years ago.

being implied i might have BPD signifies invalidation, rejection, being ignored, left, and thought of as a manipulating, attention seeking liar.

(which is NOT how i see those with BPD either, by the way)

and yes, it is my opinion - based on my experience that many who have been told they have BPD, and who have had complex trauma, don't really have BPD, but have a particular presentation of trauma within the PTSD subtext, that has not yet been properly understood by the 'experts'.

guess its another way of saying i believe in judith herdman's work and that 70% of those with 'BPD' that fit the criteria of CPTSD, have that instead, and not BPD.