Interesting you notice you experience 'BPD' emotions, feelings thoughts etc in Certain contexts only.
The latest DSM (no 5) has included in its criteria for BPD that the 'symptoms' need to be
"consistent across time and context" .
That is key - you are either borderline or you're not - it isn't just in some situations (although some situations can trigger more intense symptoms) and it's consistent across time - it doesn't 'come and go'. It might be possible to have symptoms for weeks at a time, and perhaps less intense symptoms for short periods of time - but not have it disappear altogether for years only to come back. And it wouldn't be only with certain people, either.
I was misdiagnosed in my late teens. I had some traits; but then I got better - the so called BPD disappeared. When I went through another trauma and some of the traits appeared again (albeit very very mild compared to years ago). The 'BPD' was only ever present when I was experiencing PTSD symptoms.. Now the criteria for BPD has been clarified, it's pretty clear that hey - BPD doesn't come and go - it's a personality - it's constant. Yes it can improve and those with it can definitely recover to the point they can lead functional lives - but personality at the core of a person can't fluctuate to the point someone has BPD for a few years, then doesn't have it at all, then it comes back!
What I really have is PTSD - but because my traumas were multiple, throughout my entire childhood, and largely at the hands of my caregivers, the symptoms typical of those with a single trauma experienced as an adult, present very differently.
I'm not sure if you're familiar with Judith herdman's work on complex PTSD - when I read that I knew - yes, that is me. I don't relate to ALL she's written - but it made sense and I could see how I was misdiagnosed. CPTSD is not a recognised diagnosis - that is part of the problem. It's why many of us who have childhood trauma, with PTSD are often labeled as borderline, and having PTSD.
Too often women with complex trauma - Judith's work describes that as being prolonged abuse and trauma during childhood - are labelled too quickly with BPD. Perhaps in those of us with PTSD, who have endured prolonged abuse in childhood by our caregivers, exhibit differnt present kaons than those with 'simpler'' PTSD (ie single trauma as an adult).
I don't think it's any coincidence that according to Judith - 70% of women labelled with BPD fit the criteria for complex PTSD. Only 30% of those with BPD have not experience childhood trauma at the hands of caregivers.
And 'BPD' is given to women at a massive rate compared to men. Men with the same symptoms are labelled other, less stigmatised diagnoses. Personally, it is a real peeve of mine - as a feminist I think today's labelling of women who have had childhood trauma as 'BPD' reeks of society's view of women as hysterical and the medical profession has never been too kindly on 'over emotional women'. Drs didn't even used to think PMS was real - women were seen as being 'mad' when they weren't!
Sorry, off my high horse now
(((SB))) - you might very well be right - about this not T being a good fit for GG - although, I was wondering when GG identified she has these feelings with certain women in certain situations, if she would end up feeling very similar feelings regardless of who the T was - unless it was a male T?
I say that because my transference issues can be intense with some females - esp when it's an emotionally intimate situation - like in therapy. I have blocked off the possibility of transference with some Ts I've had (put up major walls to stop it happening!) but I really believe that no matter who I saw I'd be feeling the same pain - ALTHOUGH - the difference in how I manage the pain has depended on the T and how skilled they are in helping me work through it.
I definitely think GG a T Highly skilled in trauma - especially childhood trauma - would be sensitive to the very subtle triggers of intense pain we have.
We don't just need someone who can look at pink skin and see sunburn - we need someone who can see a seemingly mild case of sunburn and know underneath - it's a 3rd degree burn.
And not all 'trauma Ts' are equal. I saw a counsellor for two years who was 'experienced in trauma' (in that she had had her own to work through in the past) - but when it came to helping me with my trauma, she really didn't know enough to help me other than listen to me talk it through with her.
She didn't know what I was describing to her were flashbacks. She didn't know I was experiencing panic attacks. To be fair, my panic attacks didn't present as hyperventilating - but they don't always. My panic attacks I dissociate a little after or during them - but the symptoms come out physically. My arms and face go tingly; I shut my eyes and I sometimes need to go lie down right where I am and sleep while being awake (zip that only happens when I'm alone). Basically, growing up it wasn't safe enough to have an outward panic attack, so I'm programmed for it not to appear on the outside.
I used to think flashbacks were when y re-lived an entire event in real time, and you were in it for several minutes or longer. But that's not the case - my flashbacks have always been more subtle - lasting one or two seconds only. I only know I've had one when I find myself momentarily confused 'way is my dog here - I didn't have a dog in childhood' or I'll be driving along the road and be 'back' in childhood - then 1-2 seconds later wonder why I'm driving along in the city I'm in when I didn't live there growing up and I certainly couldn't drive a car!
A T more experienced in complex PTSD - childhood trauma though out childhood - would have been able to recognise the much more subtle presentations of PTSD. My current T nails it 99% of the time.