To those of you who have been enduring with me I just wanted to update you.

I returned to my "home base" today. I went and saw my former psychologist who treated me from 2000 to 2004 and has kept up with my progress over the years. I feel good about this decision and in returning to this T for assistance. With this T I never felt the need to be a certain way to experience a sense of worth in the therapuetic relationship. I feel like with her I am more capable of separating from my emotions and not getting caught up in them. I would like to explore what I have experience in therapy in terms of transference and the core issues it has brought to light and how to regulate my emotional responses.

With this T I don't long for things like affection, and caring and warmth and acceptance... it is clearly there in her stance.

I am hoping with her help and the emotional distance I create between myself and my T that maybe one day I can return to the therapist whose demonstration of love has sent me running in fear.