If I want to call it what it really is and be really honest and call a spade a spade I will

The transference issues with my T bring out my borderline behaviors and feelings to the MAX! I feel on levels that are too powerful, I have separated the transference from my real feelings for her. My real sense is that I do I love her and she has shown me love over and over again even when I didn't know it. Even when I didn't feel it... she has consistantly demonstrated loving behavior and caring. In loving my T I feel like I have to demonstrate my love for her by removing myself from her care, because my love is bad, or toxic and if I stay I will only eventually wind up turning her love into hate through my behaviors and my words. I don't want to lose the love of another woman in my life because I failed to be appropriate or good enough. I would rather just excise myself from her life and leave therapy with the feelings of being loved intact, rather than hurting later because I failed and got abandoned again. Does that even make any sense? Because it just came spilling out.