I just wanted to add, that I am getting there emotionally, I am getting to the point to where I am feeling emotional disconnection. I am not allowing her (in my head) the power to set me into a tailspin anymore. She is neither glorified on a pedestal in my head, nor is she the "good mom" or the "bad mom" or the person I feel like I need or even want when I am down and dysregulated. In my mind and in my heart I have a strong liking for her and my mind and heart are coming to let go with that love and respect intact.