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Reply to "Horrible Session"

quote:
He then asked me why I didn't reach out when everything was going on. I told him I didn't want to bother him and he seemed frustrated at my response. He tried to explain I wouldn't bother him. I wasn't exactly hearing him at that time. I got very defensive and said I didn't need to reach out I can do it myself. It may have come out more along the lines of, "I didn't want or need to depend on you."

He then out of no where asks me what am I there for?


Hi confused...

I don't think we have met yet. Welcome to the Board. My T, who I love and have a great relationship with has said the exact same thing to me as I quoted above. I can assure you he does not want me to leave and he really does want me to call him when I'm anxious, scared, freaking out, etc. He does not want me to suffer. It took a long time for me to accept that I should call him when I need him to help me. I grew up trying to solve all my own problems and trying to figure things out by myself when I should have had parental guidance. So now it's difficult to depend on him.

I think your T asked you that question "what are you there for?" to make YOU think about what you want from therapy and more importantly to express it to HIM. It made me stop and think about why I was there and what I needed (I likely knew what I needed/wanted but was too afraid to ask him). So I really tried to open up a little more and let him in. He has NEVER harmed me or deliberately hurt me in any way and he is forgiving and supportive and kind ... so why wouldn't I let him in? I need him.

It's been only a few sessions since that conversation and I have opened up and told him things that have been on my mind and it has been a very good experience and the result of this is that we feel closer and I can hold him with me for a longer period of time.

Your T does not want you to leave but he wants you to take a tiny step forward to doing the work you went there to do with him. The only thing that is holding you back and making you so resistant is your fear. You don't need to jump off the cliff but as my T told me... he is only asking me to step down one step with him there holding my hand. I won't be alone this time.

good luck
TN
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