I wish I could ease your pain I'm very glad you posted here and reached out to others who have also felt so overwhelmed and understand where you are now. I wonder if there is another line you could call or a different operator that would be more supportive?
I think it's a very positive thing that you are reaching out to new friends, I hope you won't give up. I think it can take a little while because some personalities are just difficult to bond with and don't prove very helpful. But I hope more than that you will be patient and gentle with yourself through the process.
I hope you will be able tonight to keep reaching out to the forum here and know you are heard and supported. And I hope there is something you may find distracting, or soothing to get you through this rough time. Please keep hanging in there turtle.