I am feeling remarkable. I mean that b/c I know that over all, this is very very deep stuff and it is good. But I am in this highly aroused emotional state that I am not familiar with. I’ve been trying to describe it to my husband, but it is hard to put into words. I feel like I’ve emerged from a cave long spent in darkness and seclusion from the rest of the world (as I have been emotionally) and I’ve stepped out into this world of wonder that has always existed around me, but I never knew it. The feeling is “Wow, look at this wonderful place. What is this?” But I do not know what to do, where to go, how to fit in. I feel that by my feeling out of place, the expression on my face and in my eyes that I even look like a stranger who just stepped out of a cave.

My body is having multiple sensations and what I might describe as discharges. I would love to ask Shrinklady about that-I know that she has a reference on discharge that I’ve read and I do get those body jerks she describes-always have. But now I am discharging through a more natural and allowed expression through my therapy, but I am experiencing more frequent physical body jerks and sensations that range from light to quite abrupt. It almost feels like over stimulation. I can be fine and going about my business one minute, then get an image or feeling that thrusts me into tears. And these are good images and feelings, and mostly to do with my emotions for My T. I just don’t know exactly what to make of it. I am more sensitive to light and noise that I fear insanity. But I tell myself, no, this too will pass. Sometimes the impulses are so strong that I can’t seem to have my husband hug me tight enough. It’s a very strange feeling. I am partly scared and partly intrigued.