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Reply to "Shameful Memories"

((ANG)))

I don't have anything useful to say. It has to be hard to talk about things that you feel ashamed about. If he couldn't handle it, though, he wouldn't be pushing you gently to go there. He must think you need to process it. I don't know about you but the more I bring up and process these "shameful" memories, the more I begin to see that there was no reason for me to feel ashamed, that the "other" was the one who should feel ashamed and that I was just a child, or whatever. It has actually freed me to feel better about myself. I hope that it will help you too.

How about bringing your concern to your T? That you want him to react by not thinking about it is probably how you have handled these difficult feelings: by pushing them down and not thinking about them. And the thought that he can't handle the strength of the feelings may be coming from you, how difficult they are for you to handle.

In order for me to function and be on an even keel, I have always been in a complete state of denial or else a state of being overwhelmed by the memories. It was like I couldn't be in the two places at once and just be okay. But lately I've been noticing that I can stay present much more frequently AND still think about the past without it creating a "shame storm". The power and intensity of those feelings has lessened and I'm learning to manage my emotions better.

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