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Reply to "Shameful Memories"

Ang,
I shared some shameful memories with my old T before we ended therapy. She encouraged me to share as much or as little as I wanted. She even prodded with questions to get me to be more specific. I remember I contacted her once after a session when I had shared some particular shameful memories and asked her if I had "toxified" her. She acted like she didn't understand what I meant. I told her..you know, the stuff I told you, its toxic. And now that you know it, you must feel toxic too. She said she was not toxic, just concerned. You know Ang, the truth is that while our T's care very much about us, they have been trained to lock work up in a box and leave it there. At least that is what I learned. As much as I would like to think that a T could really understand my painful memories to the point that they would be too detailed or graphic for her, I just don't think its the case. They care, and they understand, and I believe that they certainly don't just "forget us" but I hope your not holding back for fear that it may too much for your T too handle. And I hope T has not made you feel that way. It is sort of part of our character isn't it? Too be more worried about everyone else and how what we say and do will affect them instead of worrying about us?
Well, I don't know if this was helpful lol. But I hope you can sort it all out and work gently through it.
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